I drove all by myself for the first time when I was 14 years old. It was two in the morning, I took my mother’s Suzuki SX4, and I remember quite enjoying the car. I am now 22 years old, and the list of cars I’ve driven in the past 6 years is longer than most people my age. But out of the hundreds of cars I’ve had the chance to sit in, none of them were diesel-powered BMWs. I was shamed for that by many fellow car-guys. This Sunday, I got the opportunity to add a diesel Beamer to my “Been there, done that” list.

The car we are talking about today is a 2010 BMW 116d. The owner gave me the keys and said “To turn off the traction control, just press this button. Have fun!”. Such an invitation was very exciting but, sadly, even after turning off ALL the safety features, the car doesn’t slide much. Partly because it had brand new sticky Michelin tires, but mainly because it’s powered by a 2.0L 4-cylinder diesel engine with 116bhp.
I was always told that low-end torque is what diesel engines were good at, that’s what BMW fanatics brag about. After driving the 116d, I must ask: what torque? With 260Nm, you’d assume it would have a little bit of pick-up from a dead stop, but no. Honestly, I was really hoping for more humpf. One can probably make it slide, all you need to do is Scandinavian flick it in a corner, carry a bit of speed, and have balls the size of Ken Block’s. Fortunately for my grandmother, I still value my life and the 116d didn’t give me enough confidence to try such a thing. Maybe if you’ve owned it for a few years and you drive it every day you could, but this was the first time I drove it and I was NOT at home in this car.

For instance, what’s up with the clutch pedal? It has so much travel that your foot goes right through the firewall and into the engine block every time you disengage it. It also feels like it’s connected to the pressure plate with rubber bands and Jell-O. I still don’t know where it grabs, it just does at some point. The steering is light, sloppy and doesn’t feel connected to the road the way I was led to believe coming from the notoriously “good” BMW hydraulic steering system. The suspension can’t support the weight of the car; in corners, the weight transfers from one side to the other the same way water in a fish tank would if you took it on a roller coaster. It’s a mess, but in its defence, the suspensions are the factory ones from 11 years ago, so it’s understandable that it behaved that way.

On the bright side, I like the brakes. They have a very linear feel to them, and the pedal is reasonably heavy. The same goes for the throttle pedal, which has a very analogue and classic feel to it. All 3 pedals are also in a very natural position to heal-and-toe, which is relatively easy in this car thanks to the marshmallow-like clutch.
Staying on the topic of positive things, I personally love the way it looks. The coupe, the convertible, and the hatchback all look great but more importantly, they STILL look great even after a decade of living on the streets. Some people won’t agree with me, and that’s because they are letting the typical driver of said car skew their opinion.

When Idris, who just graduated with a management degree; who lives on the outskirts of Paris because it’s too expensive to live in the inner city; who’s 23 and only wears Adidas sweat pants with a matching fanny pack; who has an electronic cigarette between his lips at all times the same way a baby has his pacifier, and his phone in his hand so he can spend an absurd amount of his time on TikTok; got approved for a 7500€ loan with a 33% interest rate to buy a car, a cheap to run and reliable Renault, or Peugeot, would never be on his wish list. Idris is above those brands. He wants German. He deserves it. 
So, he goes to the second-hand dealership and gets the newest-looking BMW he can get his hands on. And because the 1 series look is timeless, Idris is now driving away in a 2010 BMW 116d, in grey, with a diesel engine because “it has good fuel economy and it has a lot of low-end torque” and “you know, it has a 50/50 weight distribution so it’s basically a sports car. Did I mention it was a BMW?”.
He’s now driving away, with his left arm at 12 o’clock on the steering wheel, sitting so far back it’s a miracle he sees the road, terrible music blasting out the speakers, and cigarette smoke constantly gushing out the window.
And there, I can join you, it’s not a good look. But remove Idris from the equation, clear your mind of the picture I painted, and you’ll see: it’s a good-looking car. We shouldn’t let our perception of its appearance be affected by the person in the driver’s seat. Because with that mentality, we should all hate Ferraris.

What you can judge, however, is that Idris took out a 7500€ loan with a 33% interest rate to buy a car, and he chose a BMW 116d.

Don’t be like Idris.

Max,